IT ALL STARTS WITH AN IDEA (OR A QUESTION)
In my case, many questions.
A few years ago I faced a very challenging period of my life and I knew something had to change: myself.
So, instead of running away, I went in. And I also turned to nature.
Along the way, I learned that, in many shamanic societies, if you came to a medicine person complaining of being disheartened, dispirited, or depressed, they would ask one of four questions:
When did you stop dancing?
When did you stop singing?
When did you stop being enchanted by stories?
When did you stop finding comfort in the sweet territory of silence?
That’s when the penny dropped.
At that low point, I stopped it all.
I was consumed by a very basic need: survival.
I had no time to waste on those ‘frivolous’ things. I had to take life seriously.
And that’s when everything started to go wrong.
So, I remembered those times when I was a ‘master’ at telling stories where I did just that:
I danced, I sang, and I found comfort in nature and silence.
And I decided to take a step back, before I could move forward.
I asked myself: what do you really want out of life?
The answer? I want to tell stories.
I resigned myself to the fact that I was the subject I knew best (very Frida Kahlo of me). And reading Hermann Hesse I found the guiding principle for what I instinctively felt I was meant to do:
“Truth is lived, not taught.”
I agree. Real life stories inspire me more than anything else.
I’m not here to teach or preach. I’m a lifelong learner. So, the best I could do was to write and share my experiences and some of my own learnings.
But who did I think I was to publish a personal memoir? A human being – just like you.
And while it felt like a selfish, egotistical pursuit, I still wanted. My heart wanted.
Not long after, I came across something that Maya Angelou wrote. She's an icon of the autobiographical style, and one of the greatest writers of our time. She taught me WHY we write:
“We write for the same reason we walk, talk, climb mountains or swim oceans – because we can. We have some impulse within us that makes us want to explain ourselves to other human beings. That's why we paint, that's why we dare to love someone – because we have the impulse to explain who we are. Not just how tall we are, or thin... but who we are internally... maybe even spiritually. There is something that compels us to show our inner souls. The braver we are, the more we can explain what we know.”
Courage. That was the missing piece.
Writing about ourselves is not a selfish act at all. In fact, it’s an extremely courageous one. Selfishness is keeping our souls a secret for fear of being seen and recognized for who we truly are.
There is no reason for anyone to write. It’s simply a human expression. We write because feeling is a universal language capable of reaching sacred spaces, without asking for permission. One that drives us to act beyond the rationality that so often limits us.
‘Dream On – and make it happen’ is my first book, a self-published personal memoir that tells the story of my early years living in Australia.
Officially, I have been working on this manuscript since 2014, when I returned to Brazil after 9 years living away. Unofficially, it’s the work of my entire adult life.
For me, this isn’t just a book. It’s a fundamental part of my personal healing. Each stage of this process was a rite of passage, and the publication of this work was my liberation. Publishing it might be an audacious move, but it’s a risk that I am now willing to take at my own account.
Through these stories, I honor who I was, I accept who I am, and I prepare myself for who I can still be.
You don't need to read it. But if you decide to go ahead, I only ask one thing: read it with an open heart (that's how I wrote it). And from what I’ve learned, it’s the only way we can truly connect – with anyone.
If you also love real life stories (and lessons), you can come on this new journey with me on Substack. I'll be posting personal reflections on all things love, courage, truth, freedom and the joy of taking risks to create a life that makes sense in the end.
Love, Carolina x
Photography: Keli Chitolina